Unravelled

The first time I felt the true impact of my mum's death, I was in bed staring at the wall opposite when the realisation suddenly dawned on me. I was never...ever, going to see my beautiful mummy again. I wasn't ever going to hear her voice again. All of the plans I'd ever made had included my mum's support...and everything had been cruelly snatched away. We'd planned to go away in Two Thousand and Nine. We'd planned to "up and leave" for the whole summer holiday, just as usual...and she promised she'd save all she could so we could go somewhere different. Just us three again. That's when it really hit me. Six months after saying goodbye to her in the hospital, I finally understood the meaning of death. I had never experienced such a hollow, gut wrenching feeling. I knew no matter how many tears I cried, I would never see her again. Although, that didn't mean I could prevent them from pouring.