Gratitude

I could hear sea-gulls and the sound of the waves crashing and then meeting the shore. Salty air filled my lungs and I longed to never to exhale. I wanted to smell that scent for ever. Suddenly my head was full of memories. I had been happy once, truly happy. My mum was to thank for that though, and now she was gone my happiness had stayed loyally by her side. I could see her smiling at me now, telling me I was beautiful. She used to tell me that a lot. I missed the way she'd place her hand on her tummy when she laughed. I felt myself starting to cry again. I was so pathetic. The pebbles underneath me shifted as I fell onto them. I didn't have the energy to stand up-right any more, and the stones seemed to smell of mummy too.

"Kirsty, come on now get out of the sea we're going back to the caravan." My heart dropped. I really didn't want to go yet, I was having so much fun. "Oh, do we have to?" I moaned. "Unfortunately we do. Now if you'd help us pack up the stuff then we can get going...and then we'll go to Sidmouth after your shower to have a nice meal." She always knew how to make something good of everything. I walked up the slip way towards the caravan with my rubber ring around the waist. I couldn't stop smiling. I'd had such a good day at the beach with Mum, Ellie, Nanny Sue and Granddad. Me and Ell's had spent the whole day in the sea, swimming and playing. My mummy came running past me and I knew that meant she was challenging me. I could see the caravan by now, and I started running as fast as my legs would let me. Running with a rubber-ring wrapped around me wasn't the easiest of things, and I soon fell arse over titt. On my speedy way to the floor, I managed to put my hands in front of me. They took the brunt of it, but there was only a few grazes. I heard my mummy's laughter before I saw her running back to me. "Are you hurt? You're not hurt are you?" I showed her my hands and laughed myself. She carried on laughing and helped me up. "If it's going to be anybody, It's going to be my Kirsty Anne."

The memory of that day shone vividly, and my body had began to shake. What had I ever done to deserve no mummy? Everybody else had theirs. I saw them holding hands and laughing and I couldn't help but feel cheated and jealous. I'd took my mum for granted and it had never crossed my mind I was ever going to be without her. I couldn't even think about it without feeling so unbelievably guilty. I hated the thought of my mum dying and her not knowing how much I loved her. I just had to pray every night that she didn't die thinking I wasn't grateful for what she'd done for me...because even though she'd been taken from me, I still got the chance to be her daughter.