No shelter

The bell rang through my ears and I clutched hold of my school bag. My coat was already on, and I was getting ready to leave. The school day was over and I was dreading the walk home. Although, it wasn't really the walk I hated, it was what was waiting for me at the end. I started towards the door, and was pushed into the centre of a crowd. As we all battled to get out of the classroom at the same time, I saw Charley coming out of the room opposite. My heart dropped and I bowed my head. I really didn't want any confrontation so I walked a little faster and managed to get out of the double doors first. She was right behind me, but I was already jogging down the stairs. As I turned the corner and carried on downwards, I came to a group of people all trying to exit the science block at the same time. I slowed down, having to walk extremely close to everybody around me. I felt somebody tug my hair, forcing my head backwards. I knew it was Charley. I carried on walking, I was nearly out now and things were speeding up. I heard laughing and suddenly felt somebody shove their foot in front of mine, causing me to trip and fall into the person I was following. I was unbelievably embarrassed but by the sound of the laughter coming from behind me, Charley didn't feel the same. I turned around and my fist came flying out in front of me, catching the side of her face. She stumbled back, but I hadn't done any real damage. That was the first time I'd ever hit anybody, and I knew I'd be willing to do it again if the bullying continued. I was sick of people thinking they could walk all over me.

I practically ran out of the school, not really slowing down until I couldn't see anybody else with the familiar blue jumper on I was wearing myself. I was nearly home when I started crying. I'd done so well up until now to hold it in. I was nearly home, and my eyes were red and sore. I turned my key in the lock and I saw my nan waiting for me on the other side. She'd been staying with us since mum died to help Dad out. She was his mum and she said she'd help him out with anything he needed. She looked worried now, maybe even annoyed. "Nan, what's happened?" I asked. She didn't ask me why I'd been crying, although I knew it was obvious. "I've just come off of the phone, I'm not too sure what to make of it, but I thought I'd ask you first. Someone called to tell me that you'd be expected to attend an hour detention this Friday for bullying a girl called Charley. They said you had hit her, and made her cry before leaving school. Is this true?" I couldn't believe it. Was I really being accused of bullying her?! I automatically knew something wasn't quite right. If I had a detention, why didn't they send a letter home like they normally would? "Nan, was it a woman? Did she tell you her name? Are you sure she was a teacher?" I had so many questions I needed her to answer. She looked at me, focusing on me hard. "Yes, it was a female. I wouldn't say a woman, I don't know why. Just, she sounded so immature and well, not much older than you really. Mmm, No. I don't think she told me her name either. I'm sure she didn't, actually" It all made sense. Charley had gotten my home number from Nicola and rang my nan, pretending to be a teacher. What a fucking bitch.

I was laying in the bath when I became unbelievably angry all of a sudden. How dare she ring my house phone. We'd lost my mum only eight months before. None of us needed this shit, and even at home I couldn't escape it. She was continuously making comments at school, and most of the time I didn't care too much. However, after continuous insults I started to get tired and quite frankly fucked off. I was sick of her thinking she could get away with bullying me...and if she was going to start involving my family, I'd need to do something about it.
After confronting Nicola over text, she'd explained what had happened. She had given my number to Charley like I'd suspected, which she was extremely sorry for...but it wasn't actually Charley who had rang my nan. She'd gotten one of her friends to make the call, although it was Charley's idea, she explained. I couldn't contain my anger. She didn't actually have the "balls" to do it herself, but needed to hurt me in some way. For the millionth time, I reached deep into my draw and pulled out my blood-stained silk purse. I zipped it open, and poured the shiny blades onto the carpet. Many of them were rusty, but I couldn't bare to throw them away. I never used them, and I knew something was definitely wrong with me. I had such a deep connection to these pieces of rusty metal, and I knew I was completely pathetic. I pulled out the shiniest, newest blade and began to release the anger I'd never be able to do in any other way.